Dad, I miss you.

We sang this song at dad's funeral.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end,
They are new every morning
New every morning
Great is Your faithfulness, O Lord
Great is Your faithfulness

I wish, oh I wish with all my heart I could mean it. Where do I find that love? Where do I find the mercies? Show me the mercies. Open my eyes, Open the eyes of my heart, Open my mind to see the promises, Open them so I can understand and come to peace. Won't you cradle me, like you promised? You said I'd never be alone. People can let me down, but are you?

first of June

Almost 3 months have passed.. 2 and half to be more precise. Has really that much time passed? It feels so stingingly fresh, the wound. Will it always feel like it was just yesterday?

Connection

I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, eyes –
I wonder if It weighs like Mine –
Or has an Easier size.

I wonder if They bore it long –
Or did it just begin –
I could not tell the Date of Mine –
It feels so old a pain –

I wonder if it hurts to live –
And if They have to try –
And whether – could They choose between –
It would not be – to die –

I note that Some – gone patient long –
At length, renew their smile –
An imitation of a Light
That has so little Oil –

I wonder if when Years have piled –
Some Thousands – on the Harm –
That hurt them early – such a lapse
Could give them any Balm –

Or would they go on aching still
Through Centuries of Nerve –
Enlightened to a larger Pain –
In Contrast with the Love –

The Grieved – are many – I am told –
There is the various Cause –
Death – is but one – and comes but once –
And only nails the eyes –

There's Grief of Want – and grief of Cold –
A sort they call "Despair" –
There's Banishment from native Eyes –
In sight of Native Air –

And though I may not guess the kind –
Correctly – yet to me
A piercing Comfort it affords
In passing Calvary –

To note the fashions – of the Cross –
And how they're mostly worn –
Still fascinated to presume
That Some – are like my own –

Emily Dickinson