first of June

Almost 3 months have passed.. 2 and half to be more precise. Has really that much time passed? It feels so stingingly fresh, the wound. Will it always feel like it was just yesterday?

Connection

I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, eyes –
I wonder if It weighs like Mine –
Or has an Easier size.

I wonder if They bore it long –
Or did it just begin –
I could not tell the Date of Mine –
It feels so old a pain –

I wonder if it hurts to live –
And if They have to try –
And whether – could They choose between –
It would not be – to die –

I note that Some – gone patient long –
At length, renew their smile –
An imitation of a Light
That has so little Oil –

I wonder if when Years have piled –
Some Thousands – on the Harm –
That hurt them early – such a lapse
Could give them any Balm –

Or would they go on aching still
Through Centuries of Nerve –
Enlightened to a larger Pain –
In Contrast with the Love –

The Grieved – are many – I am told –
There is the various Cause –
Death – is but one – and comes but once –
And only nails the eyes –

There's Grief of Want – and grief of Cold –
A sort they call "Despair" –
There's Banishment from native Eyes –
In sight of Native Air –

And though I may not guess the kind –
Correctly – yet to me
A piercing Comfort it affords
In passing Calvary –

To note the fashions – of the Cross –
And how they're mostly worn –
Still fascinated to presume
That Some – are like my own –

Emily Dickinson

what it feels like

feels like im 15 again, quoting songs but this is what it feels like...

an ordinary world.


The sun can't remember how to shine
And the colors all have faded into shades of gray
There's no life in this hollow heart of mine
Ever since you went away

Close your eyes and feel me hold you
Can you lead me through this ordinary world
Let the sky cry, restless rain to wash away the miles
Between us, 'cause without you it's just an ordinary world

If time could find a way to turn around
I would walk along the stars, till I was back at your door
Every word, every word is spoken but without a sound
And I found out what my heart is for

It's just an ordinary World

K. Mcphee