where has all time gone

no matter how many time the short-hand turns around the clock, or how many times the calendar page flips, it always feels like it was just yesterday that i saw your face. and again i feel a drop in my heart - an emotion so familiar, yet, causing as much distraught each time, if not, more - realising that, there wouldn't be any tomorrow or today where i can meet you in person.

it feels like time has been stolen from me

no.. it feels like a person has been stolen from me

yes, thats what it is.

M

beginning - see the light

float, feel light like a feather
relieved of the tightrope constantly pulling at the wrists
dragging down to the ground
cut it off! cut both off!

deranged its made you
twisted your mind
contorted your beliefs
telling you the untruth
away with it!

loved you are
imperfect you are
but loved you are
no one has the right
to tell you not

banish the abuser
welcome new appreciators
spread and share
love to deserving ones

plentiful is the journey ahead
but never, never
mistrust your heart again

life can be painless lying amongst thorns
be strong and push on

M

Fathers day

Fathers day is next week. This year, I can only celebrate this day with dad in my heart. I just saw the artwork I got us 3 siblings to do for one of the fathers day - we put our handprints on a black sheet of paper and signed little notes. I don't know about brother and sister, but my handprint hasn't changed at all, not in size or shape, yet, time has changed so much else. 

I miss his funny imitations of things, I miss his standard "Very good. Hahaha" replies whenever I've achieved or performed something, I miss his love and enthusiasm for food as I, I miss his lifting presence, I miss watching him walkabout with his hands behind his back "like a boss" wherever we go, I miss his reliability, I miss his ever-willingness, I miss his attentiveness, and I miss so much more I can't even begin to put into words. 

I wish you were here dad. You're the best fighter I'll ever know. 

M